Cancer caregivers face a range of unknown challenges

Caring for someone with cancer can seem like a full-time job. With duties ranging from making medical decisions to cooking and preparing meals to driving to and from medical appointments, tests and treatments, providing care can be challenging, frustrating, and rewarding at the same time. It’s a job that often comes with a little preparation or training, and sometimes a little appreciation.

Demand for the paper is also growing: An estimated 1.6 million new cancer cases will be diagnosed in the United States this year, according to the American Cancer Society. Many of these patients will eventually receive help from a family member, friend, or someone close to them. Caregivers like Darlene Knight, whose husband, Randy Knight, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma of the lungs in 2010, are among the unsung heroes of the cancer care community, who often step in without a second thought. “It’s something you do,” Darlene says. “You go up to the board and do it.”

This does not mean that the task is easy. The Knights, for example, have a daughter with special needs and Darlene is also her primary caregiver. Randy kept his responsibilities at work, but it was Darlene who drove him for 10 hours between his Louisiana home and our hospital in Tulsa, receiving chemotherapy and a series of supportive treatments that helped him manage his side effects. She also made sure he was eating a healthy diet, ordered his supplements, and helped jog his memory when he became forgetful, a common side effect of chemotherapy.

It is an experience that resonates with sons and daughters who take care of aging fathers and dedicated mothers and fathers who put off their lives to take care of the needs of their sick children. Caregivers often reconcile not only the medical needs of their loved ones, but also the parenting needs of their children. Like the patients they serve, caregivers are a diverse group, representing all ages, genders, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Many share similar challenges, even if they encounter different obstacles.

Caregivers can also experience feelings of helplessness. They cannot control how often their loved ones will have to receive treatment or how their bodies will respond. But caregivers can control an important part of the process: developing and maintaining communication. Talking about the stress and fears they face can help the patient and caregiver understand each other’s point of view and better deal with the challenges they face during treatment. Open communication, between caregiver and patient, and between caregiver and others, is important, because patients are not the only ones who need support.

Darlene Knight says her neighbors helped mow the lawn and take care of her pets while she accompanied Randy on therapy trips. But even those with a reliable support system can experience caregiver fatigue and burnout. This is how you can learn about the caregivers among us, whether they are helping you or helping someone else:

I thank them. Prepare a meal for your favorite caregivers, send them a card or email them thank you letters.

Show help. Taking a break is critical to maintaining the energy you need to be a caregiver. Help them figure out how they can escape for a few hours.

pass the time. A phone call or an in-person visit can make all the difference to someone feeling isolated and overwhelmed.